me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit (via jtoday)
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital
That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it
Shoot him damnit. You have a gun. Win! Kill him! No! Don’t give him a speech!
ALL OF THESE. EVERY TIME.
Also you could totally sever a tendon in your hand and it tuRNS OUT THOSE ARE IMPORTANT?!
If I blurt out “WHY would you do that?” during a thing it is probably one of these.
it’s falling long ways so TURN AND RUN SIDEWAYS FUCK
I genuinely don’t know what to say to people who hate ABBA like
if you change your mind
I’m the first in line
A man after a successful heart transplant, holding his old, diseased heart
metal as fuck
do action movies know they can have more than one female character
Someone should make an action movie with all girls except for one guy and have no explanation or mention of it in the movie and then pay all of the actors to act surprised like they’d never noticed when they get the inevitable storm of questions.
This one male must have a shower scene, be saved by the protagonist at least once, and fall in love with a lead female.
Wizards can make fun of muggles all they want but the joke’s on them because phones can do in two seconds what they use owls and high-level magic to do, AND we have tanks. Try to avada kedavra a tank you stick-wiggling nerds
YOU’RE IN AUSTRALIA
OF COURSE SPIDERS SHOULD BE FEARED
I got bitten by a white-tailed spider when i was seven. There is basically ‘no cure’ for the bite which often gets infected because of bacteria on the spiders fangs. It pretty much eats away at the flesh and its horrible. Thankfully my grandma is a seasoned aussie and put some potion she made on it and it got better. I still to this day have scar about the size of a 5 cent coin on my thigh and when you touch it there’s basically a hole in my leg from where it ate away at my flesh.
moral of the story STAY AWAY FROM AUSTRALIA. IT IS DANGEROUS AND YOU WONT SURVIVE.
Why didn’t god put all the spiders in space? He’s such a jack ass…
SO WHEN SPIDERS HIT THE ATMOSPHERE THEY CAN FALL DOWN LIKE RAIN? NO THANKS.
While we’re at it, never go to Brazil because they have flying spiders.
I am surprised catsplaining didn’t tag me on this
biggest fuck you ever